THE ICONOPHILE
 
Janeane Garofalo
Janeane Garofalo

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Born on Sep 28, 1964 in Newton, New Jersey, USA . Reportedly 5' 1".

The down-to-earth slacker Everyman of comedy, Janeane’s managed to turn her professional shortcomings (she rarely bothers to memorize her bits before going on stage, reportedly bombs a lot, tends to eat her way out of auditionability, etc.) into something of a personality cult and even a fairly successful career, for it’s her many flaws and seeming unsuitability for megastardom that on the one hand make her appear more “real” and accessible (we feel she’s someone we could actually know, and want to see this poor, seemingly unhappy woman succeed) and on the other hand an inspirational model of an anti-Faust, of someone trying to maintain both a career and some dignity despite pressure from all sides. More importantly, perhaps, is that as someone who’s met with some success in life despite all her slackerdom, she makes doing something with our own lives seem all the more possible. Of course, that she’s still pretty easy on the eyes for all her self-deprecation and railing against “lookism” doesn’t hurt either. Nor does her easy, critic-converting laugh. All this has given her the rare distinction of being the focus of a slew of cyber-shrines without ever having appeared nude or in a swimsuit anywhere.

Crusader for Everywoman though she may be, however, Janeane herself is certainly no saint. On Politically Incorrect a while back, for example, she was leaping on the same bandwagon everyone else was by wondering aloud how Clinton could let himself be serviced by someone as patently ugly as Monica Lewinsky. And as much as she shakes her fist at society’s favoring “genetic freaks” (i.e., thin, good-looking people) and calls for a re-adjustment of standards to include people that look more like her, she herself has little time for anything but “genetic freaks” when it comes to her own dating life. Then there’s the infamous Joan Rivers incident: In almost every interview with her that I’ve seen, Janeane seems compelled to bring up how Joan Rivers’ nasty comments about her fashion sense made her cry. Rivers’ explanation of “hey, it’s comedy — deal with it” was not accepted. Meanwhile, Janeane herself did a whole bit making fun of 19 year old Fiona Apple’s emaciated looks, and when Fiona (who’s a fan of Garofalo’s) complained about it in Rolling Stone, Janeane’s response was “hey, it’s comedy — deal with it”.

Outside of the comedy clubs, Janeane is probably best known for her roles in The Truth About Cats and Dogs and Reality Bites, although to date I think her best work outside of her stand-up was on HBO’s The Larry Sanders Show. Of course, deciding what constitutes her “best work” is no easy thing since, as many critics have observed, while she generally gives good performances and is sometimes the best thing about the movie she’s in, most of those movies — Copland, Bye-Bye Love, Touch, The Matchmaker, Clay Pigeons, Mystery Men — were mediocre at best.

But apart from her numerous and sometimes desperate attempts to get her hand stamped by Hollywood (eg., Half-Baked), Janeane still maintains that her long range goal is to be, of all things, a radio talk show host.

Yes, deep beneath her comedian’s exterior, Janeane has a serious, non-funny side she wants to share with the world, but she doesn’t seem willing to wait for the sound studio to do it: her act and numerous TV appearances are rapidly becoming a forum for self-serious, Howard Beals-like “angry prophet denouncing the hypocricies of our times” rants than for comedy. (“Granted, that wasn’t a joke,” she says in almost every act, “But how often do you get a mike in your hand?”) The trouble is that her rants all tend to spring from the same one issue that seems to have consumed her whole perspective on life — the objectification of women. And when the funny Janeane we’ve all come to know is finally choked to death by Rush Garofalaugh, her simplistic, pre-Paglian, pre- early Ally McBeal, “stop objectifying and oppressing me with your male gaze” brand of feminism comes off as a wee naive, trite, and out of step as a newly converted communist in the post-Soviet era calling for the workers of the world to unite. Already the humorous social criticism of her earlier days has largely become the irrelevant whining of a high school kid embittered by the enduring popularity of cheerleaders and the scarcity of her favorite music on MTV.

Sadly, it seems that Little Miss Post-Everything is herself rapidly becoming passé.

Now given the rather asexual persona that Janeane presents to the world, many have wondered why I’ve included her on a site like The Iconophile, which features mostly actresses known primarily for their sex appeal (especially those that resent their sex appeal and try to avoid working nude). To feature her here, it’s been argued, is to not understand her or what she’s about. But consider this: by her own description, most people don’t actually find her to be all that funny, and she does bomb a lot on stage. And most of her movies bombed as well. The one movie that did well was the one she hates the most (the Cats and Dogs fluff piece), and while most critics still love her, the only thing from her act they seem to remember is the “Stop fucking me” bit from years ago. Add all this up and I think what’s going on here is that people don’t like Janeane so much as they like the idea of Janeane, i.e. the cute, hip counter-culture pop icon she’s been made into. And I emphasise cute, because therein lies her novelty — most female social critics tend to run plain to ugly; take away the cuteness factor and there’s little to separate Janeane from all the others.

So in the end, Janeane does have a lot in common with the other women on this site — entertainers who want to be taken seriously for their talents but are only really appreciated for their looks — and my advice for her is essentially the same as for the rest of them: “Get off your soapbox and make with the yucks before you’re not so cute anymore and no one cares what you have to say.”

Or, to put it another way more appropriate for this site: “Stop your whining and get naked in a film already.”

(Granted, that didn’t sound like the sort of admiration one expects from a die hard Garofalo fan, but how often do you get a virtual mike in your hand?)

Also sprach Golem.
(More recent commentary below)

The Coroner’s Report
April 26, 2002
A friend directed me to a very funny site today that analyzes how Janeane “went from being the wry, acerbic ‘voice of her generation’ to ‘strident, annoying, and slightly irrelevant annoying B-list celebrity’”. The feeling there is that Janeane tried to get in with the cool kids in Hollywood, failed, and became so outspokenly bitter about it that she turned everyone off. I couldn’t agree more. But why did she fail to get in with the cool kids — especially when everyone was hailing her as Hollywood’s newest, coolest kid?

The reason, I suspect, is that after the moderate success of The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Janeane earned a reputation for being difficult to work with. Not in a Shannen Doherty sort of way, but by too frequently biting the hand that fed her. She was very vocal about her disillusionment with SNL, for example, and became infamous for badmouthing it when she left. Later she was outspoken about being unhappy on the set of The Truth About Cats and Dogs, a film she openly criticized as anti-feminist. Suddenly all the hype she was getting didn’t matter — she still commanded popular respect, but no A-list filmmaker was willing to risk working with someone who might sabotage the film. This has a lot to do with why the name “Janeane Garofalo” has become synonmous with “crappy film” — not that Janeane’s own ability to separate the good scripts from the bad has helped her, either. (Ben Stiller didn’t want to do the stinker Mystery Men, for example, but Janeane talked him into it.)

And when the decent script offers started to dry up, Janeane’s motivation to eat less began to dry up as well, and with each spoonful of Ben & Jerry's that went into her mouth her fan base grew thinner and thinner as she went from “attainably cute” to simply “attainable” and finally to “annoying”.

So in the end it was the twin evils of Janeane’s nose for good scripts and Janeane’s mouth that led to her failure in Hollywood, which in turn led to her sour grapes about the entertainment industry in general and discouraged her from keeping herself camera-ready, which in turn cost her much of the popularity she had worked so long to gain.

Real Time
March 29, 2003
Well, if it wasn't already clear before, it's certainly clear now: Janeane is no longer a comediene. On last night's Real Time with Bill Maher, Janeane came off like a crotchety old woman, spending her entire time on the show pontificating instead of talking, yelling over the other guests, openly insulting one of them for his simplistic over-generalizations (most of which he made in jest) while handing down far more such generalizations herself, and even attacking certifiably mild comedian Larry Miller when she failed to recognize the tell-tale signs of a joke being set up. (She calmed down only after he explained the elements of joke-telling to her, a craft she had evidently become greatly estranged from.) Say what you will about the Redneck Nation author/radio show host Janeane kept going at like a pitbull at a piece of raw meat, but at least he had a sense of humor, lame though it may have been. How Janeane ever hoped to be a viable talk show host without a sense of humor of her own is anyone's guess.

JANEANE GAROFALO’S FILMOGRAPHY

Film

  • The Guitar (2007) .... Dr. Murray
  • Ratatouille (2007) .... Colette [voice]
  • Southland Tales (2006) .... General Teena MacArthur
  • Duane Hopwood (2005) .... Linda
  • Stay (2005) .... Dr. Beth Levy
  • Jiminy Glick in La La Wood (2004) .... Dee Dee
  • Junebug and Hurricane (2004) .... Chandre
  • Ash Tuesday (2003) .... Liz
  • Manhood (2003) .... Jill
  • Nobody Knows Anything (2003) .... Patty
  • Wonderland (2003) .... Joy Miller
  • Big Trouble (2002) .... Officer Monica Romero
  • Martin & Orloff (2002) .... Hairdresser
  • The Search for John Gissing (2001) .... Linda Barnes
  • The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2000) .... Minnie Mogul/Indiana State Trooper
  • The Bumblebee Flies Anyway (2000) .... Dr. Marie Harriman
  • The Independent (2000) .... Paloma Fineman
  • Steal This Movie! (2000) .... Anita Hoffman
  • Titan A.E. (2000) .... Stith (voice)
  • Wet Hot American Summer (2000) .... Beth
  • What Planet Are You From? (2000) .... Nervous Woman
  • 200 Cigarettes (1999) .... Ellie
  • Can't Stop Dancing (1999) .... Belinda Peck
  • Dogma (1999) .... Clinic Girl
  • The Independent (1999) .... Paloma
  • Let Me In, I Hear Laughter (1999)
  • The Minus Man (1999) .... Ferrin
  • Mystery Men (1999) .... The Bowler/Caroline
  • Steal This Movie (1999) .... Anita Hoffman
  • Thick as Thieves (1999) .... Anne
  • Clay Pigeons (1998) .... Dale Shelby
  • Dog Park (1998) .... Jeri
  • Half Baked (1998) .... I'm Only Creative When I Smoke Smoker [uncredited]
  • Permanent Midnight (1998) .... Jana
  • Cop Land (1997) .... Deputy Cindy Bretts
  • The MatchMaker (1997) .... Marcy Tizard
  • Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997) .... Heather Mooney
  • Touch (1997) .... Kathy Worthington
  • The Cable Guy (1996) .... Waitress
  • I Shot a Man in Vegas (1996) .... Gale
  • Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996) .... Gorgeous woman at party (on monitor)
  • Larger Than Life (1996) .... Mo
  • Sweethearts (1996) .... Jasmine
  • The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996) .... Abby Barnes
  • Bye Bye, Love (1995) .... Lucille
  • Coldblooded (1995) .... Honey
  • Now and Then (1995) .... Wiladene
  • Reality Bites (1994) .... Vickie Miner
  • Suspicious (1994) .... Woman
  • Late for Dinner (1991) .... Counter Girl
Made for Cable Movies
  • The Laramie Project (2002; HBO) .... Catherine Connolly
Cable
  • The Daily Show (May 3, 2004; Comedy Central) .... Herself
  • Real Time with Bill Maher (Aug 8, 2003; HBO) .... Herself
  • Dinner for Five (Feb 17, 2003) .... Herself
  • Biography: “Gracie Allen: The Better Half” (Jul 26, 2002) .... Narrator
  • Comic Remix (Jul 22, 2002) .... Herself
  • Primetime Glick: “Pilates” (Jul 11, 2001) .... Herself
  • Strangers with Candy: “The Last Temptation of Blank” (Oct 20, 2000; Comedy Central) .... Cassie Pines
  • Dennis Miller Live: “Human Nature” (Apr 14, 2000; HBO) .... Herself
  • The Sopranos: “D-Girl” (Feb 27, 2000) .... Herself (playing “Zephyr”)
  • Strangers with Candy: “The Goodbye Guy” (Feb 7, 2000; Comedy Central) .... Cassie Pines, Student Counselor
  • Behind the Scenes at Daria (2000; MTV) .... Host
  • The Chris Rock Show (Sep 12, 1997; HBO) .... Herself
  • Charles Grodin (1997) .... Herself (guest appearances)
  • The Tom Green Show (1997; MTV) .... Herself
  • Dennis Miller Live: “The Importance of Looks” (Mar 22, 1996; HBO) .... Herself
  • Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist: “Drinky the Drunk Guy” (Jan 21, 1996; Comedy Central) .... Janeane [voice]
  • Mr. Show: “What to Think” (Nov 10, 1995; HBO) .... Wife
  • Duckman: “The Germ Turns” (Apr 17, 1995) .... Moonbeam [voice]
  • Comedy Product (1995-96) .... host
  • The Adventures of Pete & Pete: “X=WHY” (1994; Nichelodeon) .... English Teacher
  • TV Nation (1994) .... Correspondant
  • The Larry Sanders Show (1992-97) .... Paula
  • Talk Soup (1991) .... Guest Host
Made for Television Movies/Specials
  • Binky (2007) .... Mary
  • Law Dogs (2007) .... Gloria Fontaine
  • Slice o’ Life (2003)
  • Daring to Resist (Sep 25, 2000) .... Narrator
  • Intimate Portrait: Madeline Kahn (2000) .... Herself
  • Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989; Japanese cartoon) .... (voice — English version)
Miniseries
  • Pilot Season (2004) .... Announcer [uncredited voice]
  • Tanner on Tanner (2004) .... Herself
  • New York: A Documentary Film (1999) .... (voice)
  • Tales of the City (1993) .... Girl in “Bitch” T-Shirt (extra)
Television
  • 24 (2008-) .... Janis Gold
  • Two and a Half Men (Oct 1, 2007)
  • Campus Ladies: “The Blind Leading the Blonde” (Dec 19, 2006)
  • Freak Show (2006) .... The Bearded Clam [voice]
  • Nadine in Date Land (2005) .... Nadine
  • The West Wing (2005-2006) .... Louise Thornton
  • Hannity & Colmes (Jul 30, 2004) .... Herself
  • The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (Apr 22, 2004) .... Herself
  • The King of Queens: “Cheap Saks” (Feb 11, 2004) .... Trish
  • Disclosure (Feb 10, 2004) .... Herself
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live (Sep 23, 2003) .... Herself
  • The Belzer Connection: “Majestic-12” (Sep 9, 2003) .... Herself
  • King of the Hill: “Night and Deity” (May 11, 2003) .... Sheila [voice]
  • AFI's 100 Years, 100 Laughs: America's Funniest Movies (2000) .... Herself
  • The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn (Sep 24, 1999) .... Herself
  • The Martin Short Show (Sep 22, 1999) .... Herself
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Jul 24, 1999) .... Herself
  • Mad About You: “The Final Frontier” (May 24, 1999) .... Mabel Buchman
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (May 13, 1999) .... Herself
  • Mad About You: “Why I Am Like This” (1999) .... Mabel Buchman
  • Sin City Spectacular (1999)
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Sep 26, 1998) .... Herself
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Jun 10, 1998) .... Herself
  • The Simpsons: “The Last Temptation of Krusty” (Feb 22, 1998) .... Herself [voice]
  • Felicity (1998) .... Sally Reardon (voice) [uncredited]
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Dec 24, 1997) .... Herself
  • Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Oct 9, 1997) .... Herself
  • The Rosie O'Donnell Show (Sep 23, 1997) .... Herself
  • Law & Order: “Judgement in L.A.: Showtime” (Mar 27, 1997) .... Greta Heiss
  • Law & Order: “Judgement in L.A.: D-Girl” (Mar 13, 1997) .... Greta Heiss
  • The Rosie O'Donnell Show (Mar 12, 1997) .... Herself
  • Home Improvement: “A Funny Valentine” (Feb 11, 1997) .... Tina
  • Space Ghost Coast to Coast: “Late Show” (Oct 23, 1996) .... Herself
  • Seinfeld: “The Foundation” (Sep 19, 1996) .... Jeannie
  • The Rosie O'Donnell Show (Jun 18, 1996) .... Herself
  • Seinfeld: “The Invitations” (May 16, 1996) .... Jeannie Steinman
  • Ellen: “Two Mammograms and a Wedding” (Apr 3, 1996) .... Chloe Korban
  • Space Ghost Coast to Coast: “Late Show” (Mar 23, 1996) .... Herself
  • Politically Incorrect (1996-) .... Herself (guest appearances)
  • NewsRadio: “Sweeps Week” (May 9, 1995) .... Nancy
  • Saturday Night Live (1994-95)
  • Late Show with David Letterman (Oct 4, 1993) .... Herself
  • The Ben Stiller Show (1992) .... Herself

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